When I got stranded in snow and thought I was going to die, in late 2016, I promised myself if I ever make it down alive I’d live a life without regrets.
But when I made it back home instead of living a full life, I spiraled into my worst state of depression and about to hit rock bottom.
Hopeless and desperate I gave myself a shot and committed to change – but if it didn’t work I was allowed to kill myself.
But now, I was nothing but a visually impaired, broke hobo with a fractured skull with a bleak future. But what’s next?
Author: candorandspite
Life is fickle and comical
One day you are living your dreams then the next you are in the ER evaluating life choices.
One day you feel uncertain about life in an ICU and eat ice cream the next day without a care in the world.
It hadn’t occurred to me that to the outside world I was an exclamation point or a question mark. To many I was the poor unlucky guy at work, who suddenly felt dizzy, fell and hit the head, among many things, on a screw – now on a wheelchair, head wrapped in bandage, IV wires dangling and gawd-knows-what-else.
Do you have an experience so extraordinary -and cruel-they are better off told rather than experienced?
Part of what makes a journey fun and interesting is that you never know what to expect. These unescapable uncertainties that litter our lives exercise tolerance and open mindedness. It gives us a chance to be wrong and learn something new. A chance to question what we perceive to be true or false – and to touch what was scary.
But despite the struggles, 2019 opened the doors to a lot of firsts – including waiting tables, working in a kitchen, washing dishes, crew in a documentary and short films – where I got my first acting job – among many others.
Excited to share these stories and experiences as I play my first and only show for 2019 at Vollie Ray’s Circus in Houston TX on December 27 2019, 9pm.
Waking Up Series: Yosemite National Park, California It was around the same time a year ago when I […]
Sometimes I just could not find the right words to say. Searching for the right words to express abstract feelings, substituting symbols for meanings and vice versa, can be a struggle. But it doesn’t mean it is less true, it’s just some feelings are harder to transpose than others.
At times I cut myself open in search for something to say. But in the end, I didn’t need to say anything at all.
The heart communicates in abstract languages. Sometimes it’s best to tell a story when you just let the heart speak and trust what it has to say, even if it doesn’t have any words at all.
Last weekend, the homie visited the yard and shot an impromptu. We were both feeling a little noir talking about adult stuff and more stuff – about time flying. But it was so pretty and couldn’t ignore the lovely day out in the yard so naturally, we did our thing.
Little things to get by.
PS New album coming soon!
Going back to the old stomping grounds up the hills.
Not too long ago, I’d come here often during the night to unwind. I’d brought many of my friends here and has since been our ‘secret’ spot – too many memories were made on this little nook we used to call our own.
Nomad Heart 